with what judgment you mete

Lord,
Forgive me for judging others. I think I am not doing it, and then YOU show me that I am. I do not judge others for what they look like, what size they are, what they have; yet You have shown me that I judge others when they do not behave as I think they should. You have shown me this through feelings of disappointment that I have in others.
Thank YOU, Lord, for continuing to work on me.
When I am where you want me to be, I get my promotion: HEAVEN. Sometimes I can't wait. In the name of Jesus I ask. Amen

I have noticed anger cropping up in me, and that is not something I ususally have to deal with; I believe I have used emotional eating to deal with it, and now I have to face up to my feelings. I ran across the lesson in my Freedom from Emotional Eating book that I wanted to share in hopes of being more of "the real thing." On page 101 B. Raveling tells of 4 things that might make us angry:

1. I'm expecting another person to make me happy. (I used to go through this with my husband
when we were first married, but I believe I have learned that only God can make me truly
happy)
2. I don't think I should have to suffer. (I know better and think I always have since I became
a Christian due to good, solid Bible teaching).
3. I have unrealistic expectations for others. (WHAM! The Holy Spirit punched me good!)
4. My self-esteem is dependent on the approval of others. (Not a problem that I know of, or
else the good Lord knows I can handle only so much chastening at one time)

The author says about unrealistic expectations of others:

This is a common source of anger for the person who has a highly developed sense of right
and wrong and for the perfectionist. Here are some examples of this;
getting mad at a daughter-in-law because she's a poor
housekeeper and you think everyone should have a clean house, getting angry with a co-
worker because she calls in sick when she's not really sick, or getting mad at a child or friend
who appears to have no ambition or passion when you have lots of it and think everyone
should have it!

Wow, she read my mind!! I don't have any daughter-in-laws and I am not a perfectionist about housekeeping. Someone may be judging me for that one. I do sin in judging people that might call in sick, and leave me with their work to do. And I think I know they are not sick, but just knew this day would be a very difficult one, and didn't want to face it. Well, sounds like judging to me. Guilty!

And I do get irritated with people that do not seem passionate about the Lord, and the Lord's work. Now sometimes I know people need to be more obedient, and it wouldn't take a rocket scientist to figure that out, but there are times I know I have judged wrongfully. How do I know? I have lost my peace.
Matthew 7 says not to judge for what judgement we measure out, will be given back to us. I need to get that huge beam out of my own eye before I try to help someone with a speck.
When I do I think I will have more success with the weight loss.

transparency

Posting a blog was never anything I wanted to do. I have been a rather private person.
As I read the blogs of others on TW, I admired them for being so open.
Guess what?? God is requiring this of me.

So here goes: Accountability partner-I must tell Allison how I have done and be totally honest.
I must also write here what the Lord wants me to write.

I have been doing this in obedience, but guess what I have gotten?? PEACE, sweet peace about the struggle with my weight.
Now it is obvious that some weight is coming off and some pieces of clothing are getting loser; also I can sit Indian fashion in the floor and on the bed, hadn't been able to do that in awhile.

AND a great blessing: yesterday I actually forgot to eat, yes it is a miracle. The bad thing is I forgot to feed my grandson. I offered to fix him pancakes for breakfast, he said no, and then at 2 I realized he had not eaten. Of course, he eats plenty, but I was just a little worried.
Last night I spend too much time on the computer; what I did was not bad in itself: looking at pictures, leaving messages, answering email, but I lingered to long and began to nibble. I didn't binge or anything, but ended a very positive day on a bad note.
I WILL not get on the computer tonight and I will go to bed early.

My study on Esther (Beth Moore bible study) is so rewarding.
Her words:

One of the most important partos fo fulfilling our destiny will be transparency.

We develop false shelters to protect us....The revelation of a person's destiny always demands a revelation of the person. Consider the wording (to Esther, ch.4): "If you remain silent at this time." The Hebrew word translated silent in this verse can also be translated conceal.

Of coure Beth Moore is relating the concealing of Esther's identity. Mordecai is letting her know she must now reveal her idenitity, and yet he was the one that cautioned her to hide that she was a Jew at the beginning. We can relate that to any of us as we become more open, and then we are more honest with ourselves. . If I am transparent with my problem with overeating, perhaps it will help others. I know that when I was so open about my mourning in the loss of my daughter, others reached out to me. Even today I am supposed to meet with someone that has so many losses and just needs someone to talk to. I want to be more transparent, even if it is painful, the end product will be worth it.

And as Beth Moore says, I want to make the enemy of my soul sorry he messed with me.

my flesh

Lord, I offer you my body today as a living sacrifice. Help me to honor you, and when I do fail I know you will bring good out of my failure and teach me something. I know my body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, and I want to behave like it is. In the name of Jesus I ask. Amen

The more real I am the more joy I have. I have been a private person, yet God is leading me to be more and more transparent. I am starting to see the purpose of that; things become clearer and I talk about them; I really do not like talking about me all the time; I want the focus to be on God, but perhaps it is going to take awhile to get me out of the way.

From Day Six of TW:

God is our foundation (Isaiah 33:6) and our body is His temple (I Cor. 6:29). We have the profound privilege of welcoming the presence of God to dwell within us, just as He once dwelt within Moses' tabernacle and Solomon's temple.

The dwelling places He chose for His glory were extravagant in every detail. Likewise our bodies are very special to God because He is the master architect, the landlord, and He has chosen to join us in tenancy. God doesn't dwell in the mediocre. He chooses only the most splendid structures in which to live.

Are you beginning to catch a glimpse of just how incredible and special you are in God's eyes? God esteems you. You are a favored one. You are an expression of His glory, created in His image to know Him personally and to make Him known.

As we continue this journey, let's remember that we are in the process of rebuilding or restoring this temple in which He has chosen to dwell. Thankfully we don't have to wait until the work is completed before He comes to live with in us. (Or to be happy, these are Merry's words) His work on the cross is completed, and because of that He chooses to dwell within us now. (Awesome, my words again) Let's be certain that our bodies, as His temples are suitable for His indwelling presence. (This is my heart's desire)

Day 5

As I said in a previous post, I believe God is directing me to go through TW again. I have not worked through it all, and I want to change.
Day 5 is called "My Body, Fearfully and Wonderfully Made."
As I went through the exercise of thanking God for each part of my body, I stand in awe of what God created. It is a miracle that everything functions today. The hands that use the fingers to pick up the smallest of items; the eyes that bless me to see everything God has created (my beautiful grandchildren, God's beautiful creation, the Bible); all these make me want to shout for joy, and I am doing that right now. Thank You God for my toes, my knees, my thighs, my hips, and I am not talking about what they look like but the job they perferm. Thank you for my elbows, my neck, my skull, for every joint, ligament, tendon, for every cell, tissue, organ, and organ system.

My daughter is the doing "The Lord's Table" and since I am her accountability partner, she sends me a copy of her lesson. Today's lesson talked about presenting your body to the Lord each day as a living sacrifice; to do it out loud, to say it to HIM.

I want to do that: Lord, I present my body to YOU as a living sacrifice today. As your power works in me, I can be what you want me to be, do what you want me to do,and say what you want me to say. Help me to lean totally on you, for in myself dwells no good thing. But when I am weak, then I am made strong.

a new day

I decided to review some concepts in Thinwithin, chapter 4 since I have gotten off track.
"A Path of My Choosing" is the title, and the emphasis is on the observe and correct technique (some call it confess and repent).

"'What could I have done differently to produce a better outcome?' If you ask yourself this same question, you will be amazed at how quickly you can learn, grown, and mature on the path of God's provision. Put away your club of condemnation. Instead, experience God's grace in action with the principle of observation and correction.

Enjoy the privilege today of applying God's grace in the present moment. You don't need to wallow in any measure of self-contempt. Observe what hasn't worked, agree with God, correct your behavior in the STRENGTH Hegives you. Then move on down the path of God's provision as you exprience the abundant life."

This is my plan. Today is a new day, and I am asking God for the power and strength to walk in His will.

Beth Moore says in the Bible study on Esther that God gives us the strength to stop sinning, to stop bingeing, to stop any behavior that is leading to a stronghold in our lives. I must believe that He can do this, and I do. I must then obey what He tells me to do.

confession

HereI am after Christmas, having eaten the wrong food at the wrong time.
However, I was reminded by the Holy Spirit just out of control my eating was at this time last year. So I did not gain the usual 10 pounds during Thanksgiving to Christmas. I am very thankful for that, but I wish I had done better yesterday.
Today is a new day, and I am spending lots of time in the Word, listening to Bible study tapes, doing my Bible studies, and working on memorizing scriptures.

Romans 15:13 May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

presence not presents

I read my blog yesterday; yuk! All the focus on me; I used the word I too much. Forgive me, anyone that reads my blogs.
Jesus is the reason for the season. Today HE WILL be my focus. Though Christmas has become too commercialized, Christians can gently lead the conversation to Christ. The whole world, or most of it knows about Christmas so I pray today those searching for that light will find HIM. The Bible says there is a light that lighteth every man, so let's pray those people that are searching for true light will find their way now.
HE is the answer to every person's problem, and HE IS THE SAVIOR OF THE WORLD! HALLELUJAH!

victory

I have struggled so much with homemade candy. I love it, and several of my students brought me bags of the peanut butter chocolate. I had done so well,but I blew it and ate about 12 pieces. I didn't eat them all at once, but over the course of the day, and I was not hungry at the time.

I thought, "Now you've done it, no weight loss in 4 weeks, and you are going to gain." I had been faithful to seek the Lord's face, and have enjoyed my TW workbook, and my Beth Moore Esther Bible study. My daughter's husband has joined us; he doesn't understand it all yet, but wants to try. He is such a blessing to me, a godly man. I am so happy he is seeking God's will in this area.

So this morning, I felt the Lord urging me to weigh. I knew I would gain, but I said to myself, I know this is not me, no way would I weigh today. I was down 3 pounds, because of HIS mercy. I will continue to seek His face, and whatever happens with the weight I can handle it with his guidance. And HIS presence I seek more than the weight loss; HE has met me every morning!

I am starting to see progress here, but I can really see a difference in the pic posted on my profile.

Last night was a struggle; my husband went to a church dinner; I told him not to bring me a plate. However, a sweet friend of mine insisted and I received a plate of desserts, plus a good meal. I think I passed the test, and I chose a small piece of apple stack cake like my grandmother made. I ate some corn and green beans.

Today, though, my flesh has raged and I have craved sweets so I am praying about doing Heidi's type of fast: no sweets. I am praying about it, and I am reading the part about Daniel's type of eating in the book of Daniel. Everything is permissible for me, but not everything is beneficial. Sweets are very tempting, but the plate of desserts still sits in the oven.

He's still working on me

I have not posted in quite awhile.
I know God is working on me, but I cannot seem to open up about it. It is hard to describe.
However, I am going to try to post more often just to see if I can dig into how to explain what is going on.
I am faithful to study my workbook. My worship and prayer time with God is so awesome. My eating habits slip and slide, yet I feel like God is teaching me some things that are so needful to me. I am spiritually like I was physically when I broke my ankle. I did not get to walk on my ankle and I forgot how to walk, truly. I was used to walking with a walker, and the dr. did not allow me to put weight on my foot at all. From January to May I obeyed him, but when the cast came off, he let me start walking. I limped so badly, and was discouraged about that although I was ecstatic to be walking again. I had to think carefully to do something I had done naturally for years.
I must think carefully, pray, and try to listen to God with this eating thing. Yet if I am not very careful, I start focusing on ME. Even though that is not what Thinwithin is about at all.
As God directs me to worship HIM, spend more time with HIM, think about HIM more, I find my focus is off food. YET SOME VERY bad habits need to be broken. I pray for the habit on focusing on God constantly; God is blessing me to do that. It is so easy to slide back into "me" mode at any given point.
God is so good, and the mercy HE has shown me keeps me so humble. I do desire to please HIM in this walk.