transparency

Posting a blog was never anything I wanted to do. I have been a rather private person.
As I read the blogs of others on TW, I admired them for being so open.
Guess what?? God is requiring this of me.

So here goes: Accountability partner-I must tell Allison how I have done and be totally honest.
I must also write here what the Lord wants me to write.

I have been doing this in obedience, but guess what I have gotten?? PEACE, sweet peace about the struggle with my weight.
Now it is obvious that some weight is coming off and some pieces of clothing are getting loser; also I can sit Indian fashion in the floor and on the bed, hadn't been able to do that in awhile.

AND a great blessing: yesterday I actually forgot to eat, yes it is a miracle. The bad thing is I forgot to feed my grandson. I offered to fix him pancakes for breakfast, he said no, and then at 2 I realized he had not eaten. Of course, he eats plenty, but I was just a little worried.
Last night I spend too much time on the computer; what I did was not bad in itself: looking at pictures, leaving messages, answering email, but I lingered to long and began to nibble. I didn't binge or anything, but ended a very positive day on a bad note.
I WILL not get on the computer tonight and I will go to bed early.

My study on Esther (Beth Moore bible study) is so rewarding.
Her words:

One of the most important partos fo fulfilling our destiny will be transparency.

We develop false shelters to protect us....The revelation of a person's destiny always demands a revelation of the person. Consider the wording (to Esther, ch.4): "If you remain silent at this time." The Hebrew word translated silent in this verse can also be translated conceal.

Of coure Beth Moore is relating the concealing of Esther's identity. Mordecai is letting her know she must now reveal her idenitity, and yet he was the one that cautioned her to hide that she was a Jew at the beginning. We can relate that to any of us as we become more open, and then we are more honest with ourselves. . If I am transparent with my problem with overeating, perhaps it will help others. I know that when I was so open about my mourning in the loss of my daughter, others reached out to me. Even today I am supposed to meet with someone that has so many losses and just needs someone to talk to. I want to be more transparent, even if it is painful, the end product will be worth it.

And as Beth Moore says, I want to make the enemy of my soul sorry he messed with me.